When Knighthood Was In Flower (or, “Good Guys Always Wear White Hats”)

CHARACTERS: LORELEI THE LOVELY, a beautiful princess
                 KIT THE KING, a pip of a king
                 GODFREY THE GOOD, almost too good to be true
                 EDGAR THE EVIL, Almost too bad to be true
                 EDGAR’S HENCHKNIGHTS, as many and as ferocious as you like

COSTUMES AND PROPS: Costumes should be traditional.
                 A castle backdrop can be used.
                 Spears for knights can be foil-covered yardsticks or cut from cardboard.
                 An enormous white hat for the punch line.

SETTING:         Since this is a melodrama, all actions should be highly exaggerated. The audience should be
                 encouraged to ‘boo’ the villain and cheer the heroes loudly.
                 The scene opens with Lorelei, who is sobbing her heart out in front of her father’s castle.

LORELEI:         Oh woe, oh woe, oh woe is me! Edgar the Evil and his Henchknights have captured the
                 castle and imprisoned my beloved father, King Kit of Kaboodle. And now Edward the
                 Evil says he won’t release my beloved father unless I, Lorelei the Lovely, will marry
                 him. Oh woe, oh woe. What a horrible fate. How I wish a Knight in shining armor
                 would ride up and save me from my awful fate!

(Enter Godfrey the Good, tripping and falling over himself)

LORELEI:         (Exclaiming in fright) Good night!

GODFREY:         (Look up, proudly) That’s me!

LORELEI:         Who are you?

GODFREY:         (Pulling himself together and standing up straight)
                 I am Godfrey the Good, a knight in shining armor. I’m sorry, but I lost my white
                 charger. I just don’t know what’s wrong with me lately. But who are you, fair lady?

LORELEI:         I am Lorelei, the Lovely, princess of this fair land.

GODFREY:         Well then, let’s go inside the castle. It’s cold out here!

LORELEI:         (Beginning to wail) We can’t... (sobbing) Edgar the Evil has captured the castle and
                 imprisoned by dear, dear father, the kind, kind king, in the deep, deep, dark, dark
                 dungeon.

GODFREY:         Oh you poor, poor girl. (Consoles her) Godfrey the Good will help you. (Brandishes spear
                 in air, dramatically) will engage the wicked, wicked knight in a fierce, fierce battle and
                 release the dear, dear king who is in the deep, deep, dark, dark dungeon. (Accidentally
                 stabs himself) Oh, ouch, ouch.

LORELEI:        Oh, but Edgar the Evil is so so terrible. He has many, many men. And he says he will
                 not release the king unless I agree to marry him.

GODFREY:         Fear not, fair princess. Godfrey the Good is here! If only I could figure out why I have not
                 been myself lately. Something is wrong. Well, I cannot let evil triumph over good,
                 simply because of my weakness. Then I wouldn’t be Godfrey the Good! Everyone would
                 call me Godfrey the Gutless. (summoning up his courage) Come out, come out, wherever
                 you are!

(Enter Edgar and Henchknights)

EDGAR:           (Snarling fiercely) Who calls? Who calls Edgar the Evil and his Henchknights?

GODFREY:         (Trembling at the sight of Edgar and Henchknights) Oh.. you came!

EDGAR:           Who are you, you rattling tin can? (clanking is heard from offstage)

GODFREY:         (Still shaking) I am Godfrey the Good!! Can’t you tell? I am a knight in shining armor.

EDGAR:          (Scoffing) Shaking armor is more like it. Take this knight in shaking armor away, men.
                (Henchknights drag protesting Godfrey away.) Now, (turning to Lorelei) fair, fair lady,
                what is your final, final decision? Remember, your kind, kind father in the deep, deep,
                dark, dark dungeon!

LORELEI:        (Sobbing violently) Oh, woe, woe, is me, me!

(Suddenly Godfrey sneaks up behind Edgar, bops him over head. Edgar lays sprawled on the ground)

LORELEI:        (Throwing arms around Godfrey) My hero! My hero! (King Kit enters) Father, Father!
                But Godfrey, how did you do it? What happened? Where did you get the nerve?

GODFREY:        (Virtuously) I had forgotten one thing. Good always triumphs over evil. But in order for
                this to happen, you’ve got to recognize Good and ... The Good Guys Always Wear
                White Hats! (Puts on enormous white hat)