A short, silly skit about scampish elves and their concern for Santa.
CAST: SANTA
9 ELVES
EXTRA ELVES (Non-speaking parts)
PROPS: 1 large sign on wall or drapes saying “DO NOT DlSTURB - SANTA’S SLEEPING”
paper and pencil,
1 large sign saying “DECEMBER 24” standing on stage
1 envelope addressed to Santa.
SETTING: All elves are standing on stage whispering loudly when Chief Elf walks in.
CHIEF ELF: Hey! Keep the noise down. Can’t you see Santa’s trying to catch a few winks.
(He points to “Do Not Disturb” sign)
This has been a rough week, and the mail is still pouring in.
1ST ELF: (holding up envelope)
Did you read the one about wanting the real E.T. sent to him for Christmas?
2ND ELF: Why IF I WERE SANTA, I’d send him an EGG TURNER! (All elves laugh.)
3RD ELF: Oh, Santa knows how to handle requests like that. His real problem is transportation. It
gets pretty cold riding in an open sleigh, IF I WERE SANTA, I’d buy a racy TRANS
AM, maybe with a small sunroof … and a stereo.
4TH ELF: (interrupts) You can’t land a Trans Am on a roof, but I’d consider harnessing my sleigh
to 8 white horses. They’re faster than reindeer,
5TH ELF: (disgusted) Since when have you seen a horse with a RED NOSE!
(All elves laugh and laugh.)
6TH ELF: It doesn’t matter what Santa rides in. It’s that bright red suit. He’d look so much thinner
in a black tuxedo puttin’ on his top hat (starts dancing around) and ready for a night on
the town.
(All elves shake their heads and turn their back on the elf who is still dancing around.)
7TH ELF: Forget the car; forget the tux. Don’t you know it’s Santa’s boots? IF I WERE SANTA,
I could climb down a chimney faster in a pair of NIKES - much better traction.
8TH ELF: (excitedly) I’ve got the answer! It’s that heavy bag of toys Santa carries IF I WERE
SANTA, I’d pack everything in a suitcase with wheels. It’s the latest thing in luggage
y’know.
CHIEF ELF: (rubbing his chin and thinking for a moment)
I vote we stay up ALL NIGHT and list the ways to make Santa’s job easier. That way
he’s sure to get more sleep.
(Chief Elf grabs pencil and paper. Elves huddle together whispering loudly. Elves look up
and see Santa entering rubbing his eyes and yawning. All elves suddenly become very
quiet.)
SANTA: (standing with hands on hips and speaking in a loud, clear voice)
My suit is all pressed and my shoes polished bright. I’ve packed up my bag with the
toys made just right! I’ve hooked up my sleigh to eight tiny reindeer, And shined the red
nose that guides me each year! So, IF I WERE AN ELF, I would heed this advice: I’d
say “Nighty, Night, Santa” and be quiet as mice!
(Elves walk off stage slowly one by one saying “Goodnight Santa,” but the 7TH ELF
stays behind for a moment. then walks slowly up to Santa.)
7TH ELF: Y’sure you don’t want a pair of NIKES, Santa?
(7th Elf hands Santa a pair of Nikes, then runs off stage. Santa looks at Nikes, shakes his
head, starts to chuckle, then takes a bow!)