Cast: Actors, directors, Gus
Scene: Theater
Director: Okay! Who's next for the auditions? You? Okay! Let's hear you!
Actor #1: I'm trying out for the part of the Unknown Soldier. (He lies down, dead.)
Director: Don't call us, we'll call you. Next!
Actor #2: I'm trying out for the President ordering the men into action. Men, we must unite to beat the foe and protect the people!
Director: Very nice. We'll call your agent. Next!
Actor #3: I'm trying out for the part of the dying soldier. (He dies a very painful, emotional death.)
Director: Sorry! Try out for the next movie. OK! Let's wrap it up!
Gus comes running in.
Gus: Oh please, Sir, I really would like a part in your play! I really need a break! Just a small part, Pleeeeeease, Pretty Please, with sugar on top?
Director: Fine. All you have to do is call out "Oh my Gosh, it's a cannon!" when you hear a loud boom. Take a moment to practice while we load it up.
Gus practices the line with several different voices, poses, etc.
Director: OK, let's get a move on! I want to leave! (Loud boom from backstage.)
Gus: What the heck was that?!?!?!?