"I am King, squire, and I need you to bring me my special papers."
Bringing in some diplomatic-looking things "Here are your papers, sire."
"Fool! These are not my special papers. Off with his head! Squire two, bring me my special papers! Do not fail!"
Bringing in a Wall Street Journal "Here are your special papers, sire"
"Fool! These are not my special papers. To the dungeons with him! Squire three, bring me my special papers!"
Brings him a roll of toilet paper "Here are the special papers, sire"
"And just in time!" The king grabs the toilet paper and runs offstage.