CHARACTERS:
KNIGHTS at least two in appropriate costume
SIR QUAKE-A-LOT a seedy-looking knight with bent sword
MESSENGER pageboy type
MAGICIAN Merlin-type with white hair, beard and flowing robe
LADY GWENDOLYN long robe, conical headdress with veil
SETTING: Courtyard outside medieval castle. Courtyard is center left of stage, with woods indicated at right front. Road to Black Knight’s castle is right rear.
NARRATOR stands to one side of stage. As he narrates, the characters enter, pantomime and exit.
NARRATOR:
| In days of yore, so we’ve been told Maids were fair and warriors bold. And when two Knights in battle sent They’d laugh and soon be friends again But there was one unknightly Knight With rusty sword, who wouldn’t fight He’d shiver and he’d shake a lot; So he was called Sir Quake-a-Lot And though he had no hope to win, He loved the Lady Gwendolyn. One day a Messenger arrived, Who was more dead than was alive. “The Lady Gwendolyn” he gasped, “Has fallen into the Black Knight’s grasp. Which of you knights will be the braver? Who will go and try to save her?” And then a voice with a slight quaver Said “I will be the one to save her” The other knights sigh in relief – Then stare at Quake with disbelief. “His brain has kinks, methinks” one said. “This lad hath holeth in his head.” As Quake-a-Lot approached the wood, He passed where a magician stood. He asked the magician to make him brave. The Magician said “‘Tis this herb you crave; Eat once a week forever more Thou wilt be coward nevermore.” As Quake-a-Lot approached the wood, He passed where a magician stood. He asked the magician to make him brave. The Magician said “‘Tis this herb you crave; Eat once a week forever more Thou wilt be coward nevermore.” As quick, he did partake a lot, A change came over Quake-a-Lot. His biceps swelled, he beat his chest, His crooked sword, he neatly pressed. Into the wood to save his Gwen, And soon was heard a knightly din. Back at Court, the knights mourned Quake When battle sounds the ground did shake. But suddenly to their surprise, Two figures came before their eyes. The lovely Gwen on Quake’s right arm, And Quake, the warrior, safe from harm. The Knights ran forth and did proclaim That Quake should have a brand new name. Sir Sag-no-More’s his brand new start; Then Lady Gwen gave him her heart. Then all in merriment did feast and laugh, And all lived happily ever aft. If you’d adore to Sag-no-More, We’ll warn you at the finish; Don’t wish for a magician Just always eat your spinach | (Knights on horseback enter from opposite sides; battle, knock each other down, laugh, get up and slap each other on their backs.) (Enter Sir Quake-a-Lot . Others try to battle him. He shakes and tries to protect himself and faints. Gwendolyn enters, walks across and exits. All knights sigh. Quake revives, sighs the most.) (Messenger staggers on stage. Knights rush to help. He pantomimes message; when he asks who will go, they point to each other. Quake stands and watches.) (Sir Quake-a-Lot flourishes sword; pantomimes saving her. Other knights point at him, laugh, slap their knees in laughter. Quake exits to the woods.) (Quake gallops to woods, where magician enters. They pantomime and magician points to green bush Quake picks and eats from bush.) (Quake becomes strong man, beats on chest, bends sword straight, rushes off stage where mighty sounds of battle are heard.) (Quake becomes strong man, beats on chest, bends sword straight, rushes off stage where mighty sounds of battle are heard.) (Battle sounds off stage. Knights listen, shake heads sadly, weep and blow noses into lacy handkerchiefs. Enter Gwen and Quake in shiny armor with bright sword.) (Knights run to Quake, present him with a sign saying “Sag-no-More.” Gwen hands him a paper heart. All sit on floor and pantomime a feast, joined by magician.) |