First of two guys: "This is the lighthouse sketch. We need a volunteer from the audience to be the lighthouse. Any volunteers?" (Pick a girl, but don't say you need a girl.) "OK, you are going to be the lighthouse. I need you to stand up straight right here and don't move. Oh, you're moving! Stand straight and still." First guy: "Now we need to row out and light the lighthouse." The two guys sit on the floor, pretending to be in a rowboat. "Stroke! Stroke! Stroke!" They scoot along backward to the lighthouse-like they are rowing a rowboat. First guy: "Now it's time to light the lighthouse. Matches! Matches?" The second guy, hitting his forehead: "We forgot the matches!" Pretend to row back to shore and get the matches, then row back. First guy: "Matches? Good. Wick?" Second guy: "We forgot the wick!" Pretend to row back to shore and get the matches, then row back First guy: "We've got the wick now? Good. Matches? Second guy: "Um, ..." First guy> "You forgot the matches again." Second guy nods. Pretend to row back to shore and get the matches, then row back. First guy: "Matches." Second guy: "Matches." First guy: "Wick." Second guy: "Wick." First guy: "Finally! Now it's time to light the lighthouse!" Both guys kiss the girl on the cheeks, then run offstage as fast as they can. Hopefully, the girl will blush, lighting the lighthouse.
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