Scoutmaster's Saw

Announcer: This scene takes place in a hardware store near Camp _______ home of the oldest surviving Scoutmaster.

Scoutmaster (very old man): "My old crosscut saw is worn out, and I need something that will let me cut more wood for camp!"

Owner: "Yes, sir! For only one hundred bucks you can be the proud owner of this chain saw. I guarantee that it will cut twice as much wood in a day as your old crosscut."

Scoutmaster: (Handing over money) "O.K. great!" (Exits)

Announcer: "The next day." Scoutmaster: (Enters tiredly) "There's something wrong with this saw. I worked very hard yesterday, and only cut half as much wood."

Owner: "Well, sir, I have a lot of faith in this product. Here, I'll put a new chain on it and you give it another try."

Scoutmaster: "O.K., but if it doesn't do any better, I'll be back! You can count on that!" (Exits)

Announcer: "The next day." Scoutmaster: (Enters exhausted) "This darned saw is no good. I worked even harder, and still, it won't cut half the wood of my old saw! I want my money back!"

Owner: "Yes, sir ! Just let me check it out here." (Pulls starter rope)

Announcer: (Makes sound effects of saw running.)

Scoutmaster: "Oh, my gosh! What on earth is all that noise?"