Cast: Captain Kidd, Other people, walking by, Mirror
Setting: Street
C.K.: I'm the roughest, toughest, meanest, ugliest pirate to roam the seas. Watch this. (Tries to scare the first man walking by.)
Man: I'm not scared of you!
C.K. keeps on trying to scare people going to work ("Late for work!"), walking the dog (Dog runs up and starts to play with C.K.), kids (they laugh, "Hey! Halloween isn't till next month!"), and so on. Finally, he's quite dismayed.
C.K.: Hmm. Maybe I'm not so scary after all. Maybe I should go into movies. (Looks at himself in the mirror.) Ahhh! (Runs away scared.)