Bell Ringer # 1

Props: Coat with football or wadded clothing under it for the Hunchback, hat, or nightstick for Gendarme.

Announcer: The Hunchback of Notre Dame has decided to retire, and has placed an ad in the Paris Times for someone to come and learn how to ring the bells.

Effects: (Knock, knock, knock)

Hunchback: (Gravely voice) Oh, somebody must be here about my job. I'll go down and see. (Goes 'round and 'round the campfire, as if going down the bell tower, bent over due to hunch.)

Effects : (Knock, knock, knock)

Hunchback: (Angrily) I'm coming, I'm coming. There are a lot of stairs here. (Arrives at and opens the door.)

Hunchback: Yeah! What do you want? Applicant: I'm here about the bellringer's job.

Hunchback: All right! Come on up and I'll see if you can do the job. (Begins to go up (the other way around) followed by the applicant.)

Applicant: Boy, the ceiling is not very high here, is it?

Hunchback: Listen, you go up and down these stairs 20 times a day for 45 years and you just learn to stay bent over. Hey, did you close that door, didn't you?

Applicant: I don't know. I don't remember.

Hunchback: Well, we gotta go down and keep it locked, can't run up the church's fuel bill. (Both turn around and go back.)

Hunchback: That's the first thing you gotta learn. Keep the door closed. Up and down these stairs, that's the hard part. (Arriving at the door) O.K., so now you're here, close the door.

Applicant: (Closes door) How are the benefits of this job?

Hunchback: (Both going back up) Well, it has its ups and downs. The Church Board will buy you earplugs every six months and a new bottle of bell polish once a year. (Finally arriving at the bell) Alright, now you stand over there, and I'll show you how it's done. First, you grab the bell here and push it out very hard (steps back and follows the path of the bell out and back) then the bell comes back on its own. That's all there is to it. Do you think you can do that?

Applicant: Sure! (does the action with the bell, but does not step back, is hit by the bell and falls back, to the ground)

Hunchback: Oh my gosh! He's fallen 15 stories to the sidewalk. I'd better get down there. (Goes 'round and 'round until he reaches the ground) (Crowd enters mumbling, stops astonished at the body)

Gendarme : (Entering, calls to Hunchback) Hey you! Do you know this guy? (Rolls body over with foot)

Hunchback: No, but his face sure rings a bell!