SKITS AND STORYTELLING 2/04-09

BRAGGING SCIENTIST 

US SCIENTIST—We put a man on the moon in 1969.
RUSSIAN SCIENTIST—Big deal we put Sputnik up in 1961, and we are
going to send a team to the sun.
US SCIENTIST—You’re mad! They will burn up before they even get
close.
RUSSIAN SCIENTIST— Don’t worry, we have things under control.
We’re sending them at night, so it isn’t so hot.

BEAM ME UP

Scout walks on stage, looks around slowly, then says:
“Scotty, the aliens are very unfriendly! Quick! Beam me up!
Scout 2 walks around, drops a 2x4 beam on the ground with a loud ‘thunk’.

LEAVING

Scout 1 walks across the area scattering handfuls of leaves that he takes from a big bag.
Scout 2 approaches and asks: ‘What are you doing”.
Scout 1: ‘I’m leaving!”

CLIMB THAT 

Two scouts meet, and the first scout begins to brag that he can climb
anything.
Scout 1: Can you climb that tree?
Scout 2: Sure, I’ve done it lots of times.
Scout 1: Can you climb the steep hill over there?
Scout 2: No problem for me.
Scout 1: How about the Empire State Building?
Scout 2: Did it!
Scout 1: How about Mount Everest?
Scout 2: Boy that was a cold day. I’ve done that too. I told
you, I can climb anything.
Scout 1: I’ll bet you ten bucks I can show you something you
can’t climb.
Scout 2: You’re on!
Scout 1 pulls out a flashlight and shines the beam up into the
sky. “All right. Climb that!”
Scout 2: Are you crazy? No way!
Scout 1: I know you would back out. Now, pay up!
Scout 2: I won’t pay because it’s not fair. I know you! I’d
start climbing, and when I get halfway up you’d turn the flashlight off!