Reggie and the Colonel

Characters: Reggie, big, dumb, Bermudas, high socks, safari hat, glasses, down on nose, mustache, carries a gun in front of him. Colonel: short, limp, monocle, no gun, just small knapsack, has a cane.

Scene: Walking in place through darkest Africa, speaking pronounced English accent.

Colonel: (excited, jumping and pointing with cane) Reggie, look… Did you see it, Reggie ??????

Reggie: See what??! No, no, where, where ??

Colonel: Oh, Reggie, It was a beautiful condor, 8-foot wingspan, beautiful colors.

Reggie: No. I didn't see it.

Colonel: Wish You'd pay closer attention. (They continue walking).

Colonel: Did you see it, Reggie?

Reggie: No, what?

Colonel: A spotted Zebra…Wish you'd pay closer attention.

Colonel: (later) Did you see it, Reggie?? Did you see it?

Reggie: No I missed it … what was it?

Colonel: An ooh-aah bird.

Reggie: Ooh-aah bird. What's a ooh aah bird??

Colonel: An ooh-aah bird is a 2-pound bird that lays a 3-pound egg, like this: Ooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh-aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh (face lights up). (continue walking).

Reggie: Whispers to the audience: Next time I'll say yes - pretend as I saw it. I'll fool him.

Colonel: Reggie, Reggie did you see it! (excited)

Reggie: I saw it, I saw it!

Colonel: Then why in heaven's name did you step in it? !!!


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