Lighthouse #3 (Cornflakes)
PROPS: A fake microphone, suitable attire for WIFE.
DAN LATHER: [knocking at lighthouse door] Well, here I am at the famous Mariposa Lighthouse to find a top news story for the day.
LIGHTHOUSE KEEPER'S WIFE: [coming 'round and 'round the campfire as though coming from top of lighthouse] Keep your shirt on, I'm coming. [arrives at door and opens it] Yes?
DAN LATHER: How do you do? I'm Dan Lather, the famous newscaster from C.U.B.S.-TV to do the interview I phoned about.
WIFE: O.K., come on up, it's a long way. [both proceed up]
DAN LATHER: [as they reach the top] Is the lightkeeper, Capt. Highlighter here?
WIFE: No, he's off to sea again and left me with all the kids. [shouts] Billy, get away from that window and get over here for breakfast.
BILLY: [looking into imaginary telescope] But, mom, there's a big ship sinking out there.
WIFE: O.K., O.K. Bobby sends a message about the ship. Now, Billy, what are you having for breakfast?
BOBBY: [dit dahing Morse Code message] Cornflakes for me too, right after I get this message down about the tornado coming this way.
TOMMY: [running up the lighthouse stairs and entering] Mom, Mom, there's a huge whale beached on the shore!
WIFE: Bobby will send a message, but first, your breakfast. What are you having?
TOMMY: Oh, I want the Crunchy Critters.
DAN LATHER: [speaking into microphone] This is Dan Lather reporting from the Mariposa Lighthouse. Well, folks, it looks like the big news today is that two out of three children prefer cornflakes!
(The success of this skit very much depends on all the action at the lighthouse and that Dan Lather makes himself out to be a "big shot" newscaster.)