Pet Shop

  • Customer, Shopkeeper
  • Setting: Pet Shop

Customer: I'd like to buy a turtle.

Shopkeeper: Well, here's one of the only three turtles I have left-they sell real well out here but turtle shipments are few and far between.

Customer: Gee, thanks! Just the kind I was looking for, too!

(Later, customer comes in with dead turtle and is a little distraught.)

Customer: Look! He's dead already! How old was he?

Shopkeeper: Here, here. Let me see. Hmm. Look, having pets die on customers on the first day they buy them is bad for business, so here's a new one. No charge.

Customer: Thank you! That's so gracious of you.

(Later, customer comes in with dead turtle and is more distraught.)

Customer: Are you sure these turtles are okay? This one died on me too!

Shopkeeper: Let me see. Hmm. Well, here's the last of my three turtles, and though I won't get another shipment for a while, you can have it for free.

Customer: You are the nicest man I know. Thank you so much!

(Later, customer comes in with dead turtle and is hysterical and crying.)

Customer: What are you trying to do to me? This one died too!

Shopkeeper: Let me see this. This is bugging me too. Say. They all have scratches on the shells. Why? What were you doing with them?

Customer: (Sniffing) Well, I was only trying to give my car a turtle wax!


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